Grief support: how Wobble works after a loss, and the other UK routes

Where can I get grief support in the UK?

Grief support in the UK comes from five places: the people around you, Cruse Bereavement Support, your GP, NHS Talking Therapies in England, and private bereavement counselling. The first four cost nothing, or ask only for a donation if you can afford one. The NHS also suggests peer support, where people use their own experience of loss to help each other. If you want to talk to someone outside your own circle, the Cruse helpline is free and open to anyone in the UK. If the grief has started to wear down your mood, your sleep or your days, your GP is the place to go. Wobble sits alongside all of these as a paid option: a qualified UK therapist's view on what you are going through, as a personal video, usually within hours.

Do I need professional help to grieve?

Not necessarily: grief is a natural response to loss, and the NHS says there is no right or wrong way to feel. Shock, numbness, overwhelming sadness, tiredness, anger and guilt are all common, and the NHS notes that these feelings may not be there all the time and can appear unexpectedly. For most people, it says, grief after a death becomes less intense over time.

The time to get help is when it is not easing. The NHS says to see a GP if you are struggling to cope, if your mood has been low for more than two weeks, if the things you are trying yourself are not helping, or if the feelings do not get any easier as the months go by. For some people grief after a death lasts many months or years, which the NHS calls prolonged grief disorder, and it is more likely when the death was traumatic, sudden or unexpected.

What does Cruse Bereavement Support offer?

Cruse Bereavement Support is a charity whose free helpline, on 0808 808 1677, is run by trained bereavement volunteers for anyone in the UK affected by grief. Its listed opening hours are Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday from 9.30am to 5pm, and Tuesday from 1pm to 8pm, closed at weekends; check cruse.org.uk before you call, as hours can change. Calls are free from UK landlines and mobiles, and Cruse puts no time limit on them.

Through more than 80 local branches in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, Cruse also offers one to one support with a trained bereavement supporter, usually by phone or video call and normally between one and six times. Cruse asks for a donation if you can afford one, suggesting £10 or more each time, and says nobody is turned away. Demand is high, and Cruse says local support can take a few months to start. In Scotland, Cruse Scotland runs its own free helpline on 0808 802 6161, Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm and until 8pm on Mondays and Thursdays.

Can I get grief counselling on the NHS?

The NHS route is through your GP or, in England, NHS Talking Therapies, which helps with persistent low mood and anxiety rather than with grief itself. Your GP can talk through how you are coping, whether this could be prolonged grief, and what support near you would help. NHS Talking Therapies is free, and if you live in England and are 18 or over, or 16 or 17 in some areas, you can refer yourself without seeing a GP and without a diagnosis. When you refer yourself, the service contacts you and tells you how long you may need to wait. Outside England, start with your GP.

The NHS lists suicidal thoughts among the signs of prolonged grief. If you are having thoughts of ending your life, or feel you cannot keep yourself safe, that is urgent: call 999 or go to A&E, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option, or call Samaritans on 116 123, free, 24 hours a day.

How much does bereavement counselling cost?

Bereavement support is free through the NHS routes, a donation if you can afford one through Cruse, and £40 to £100 an appointment for private counselling or psychotherapy, using Cruse's own guide to private costs. Before you start with a private counsellor, it is worth asking how many appointments they expect and what the total might come to.

Wobble is a paid service, and sits after the free routes, not instead of them. Your first Wobble is £9.99, usually £14.99. After that it is £14.99 pay as you go, or a plan: two Wobbles a month for £19.99, or four for £34.99, which is £8.75 each. There is no course to sign up to, and a plan can be cancelled at any time.

Can Wobble help after a bereavement?

Wobble can help as one kind of support after a loss: you describe what is going on, and a qualified UK therapist records you a personal video, usually within hours. You answer seven short questions about what is on your mind, how it affects your days, the hardest moment of the last week, what you are avoiding, the thought underneath, how you cope and what you want help with. After a loss, that might be the evening you cannot face, or the thought “if only I had done more”. You can add more in writing or as a voice note.

The video, five to seven minutes long, says what the therapist understood, offers practical guidance for the hardest days, and gives one clear next step. Grief is not a problem to fix, and a Wobble does not try to fix it: the aim is something practical to hold onto this week. The therapist can also point you to support such as Cruse. Replies run Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm UK time, and by 5pm the next working day at the latest outside those hours.

Is a Wobble the same as bereavement counselling?

No: a Wobble is not bereavement counselling, but it is mental health support from qualified therapists. Bereavement counselling is a run of live conversations with the same person, where you can talk about the person who died, how their death is affecting you and how you are coping. A Wobble is a personal video, not an hour sitting with a bereavement counsellor: there is no live conversation, and each Wobble is one response to what you sent.

Wobble is not the right format for people who need to sit with a therapist for an hour at a time; for that, bereavement counselling or Cruse's one to one support is the better fit. Therapists do not diagnose, and if your therapist thinks counselling, your GP or urgent help would serve you better, they will say so in the video. Wobble sits before counselling or alongside it. If you are waiting for Cruse support or a counsellor to start, stay on the list, and send a Wobble in the meantime.

Can I use Wobble regularly in the first months after a loss?

Yes: many people use Wobble as a regular check-in, a Wobble a week or a fortnight, and the first months after a loss are a time when that rhythm can help. Grief comes and goes, and a birthday, an anniversary or an ordinary afternoon can bring it back. Each Wobble is about what is going on that week, so you are checking in when you need to, not starting a course. The plans are priced for regular use: two Wobbles a month for £19.99, or four for £34.99, which is £8.75 each. Your Wobble goes to the qualified therapists who are free to pick it up, so it may not be the same therapist each time. Use it alongside the people around you, Cruse or counselling, not instead of them.