Scared of flying: why it happens, and what actually helps

Wobble is not a crisis service. If you are in danger call 999, or Samaritans on 116 123.

Read this first

Being scared of flying is a fear response to air travel that is out of step with the real risk. Anxiety UK says it is believed to affect around one in ten people, and the NHS and Mind both name flying among the situations that most often set off a phobia. If you are reading this with a flight booked and a knot in your stomach, you are not being silly and you are not alone. People who are scared of flying turn down holidays, take a long train journey to avoid a short flight, and spend the weeks before a trip dreading it more than they look forward to it.

This guide covers what the fear is, why it takes hold, why avoiding it makes it grow, and what helps before and during a flight. It belongs to the same family of fears as emetophobia, the guide that opens our phobias series, and the pattern is the same: the things you do to feel safe are the things that keep the fear alive. Everything here is drawn from NHS guidance, Mind and Anxiety UK. It is not a diagnostic tool. If the fear is affecting your life, your GP is the right first conversation.

What being scared of flying actually is

Mind describes a phobia as an extreme fear that does not match the risk of what you are afraid of. The NHS puts it as an anxiety condition usually set off by a particular object or situation, and names flying among its examples, alongside heights and small spaces. Anxiety UK calls the fear of flying aerophobia, an excessive worry about air travel, and describes two common shapes it takes. Some people fear losing control of their emotions during a flight and embarrassing themselves in front of other passengers. Others worry about what is outside their control: turbulence, bad weather, something wrong with the aircraft. Many people have a bit of both.

Anxiety UK also notes that a fear of flying can be an aspect of other problems, such as panic attacks or claustrophobia, rather than a fear of aeroplanes themselves. That matters, because if what you really fear is having a panic attack somewhere you cannot leave, the plane is the stage rather than the subject. Plenty of people dislike turbulence. The fear becomes a problem when it is far bigger than the danger and starts to decide what you do with your life.

Why am I so scared of flying?

Nobody is scared of flying for a single reason, and sometimes there is no clear reason at all. The NHS says it is not always clear why a phobia starts, but that many are linked to a frightening event or a stressful period, and that a fear can be learned from family or friends who have it. A bumpy flight, a hard landing, or a parent who gripped the armrest on every take-off can each be enough. Mind adds that you can develop a phobia of something without ever having a bad experience of it, and that the wider causes of anxiety, including a family history of it, can be behind a phobia too.

Two things make a plane an easy place for anxiety to settle. You cannot leave, and you are not in control. Every normal sensation of a flight, the lurch at take-off, the change in engine noise, a drop in turbulence, lands on a body that is already scanning for danger and gets read as evidence. Mind lists overthinking a situation and jumping to the worst case among the emotional symptoms of a phobia, and that is what this is. If you have had a panic attack on a plane before, the fear of a repeat often becomes the fear itself.

What does fear of flying feel like in the body?

Fear of flying feels like the body preparing for danger, because that is exactly what it is doing. The NHS lists the symptoms of a phobia as severe anxiety, dizziness, a noticeable or unusual heartbeat, chest tightness, feeling sick, trembling, and an intense fear that you may faint, lose control or die. Mind adds sweating, feeling very hot or very cold, fast breathing or a smothered feeling, numbness or tingling, and freezing on the spot. Anxiety UK notes that it can start well before the flight, with high anticipatory anxiety in the days beforehand.

Some people have a full panic attack. The NHS describes a panic attack as a rush of intense mental and physical symptoms that can start quickly and without an obvious trigger, says most last between 5 and 20 minutes, and is clear that although they are frightening they are not dangerous. If you want to know what one is like, what does a panic attack feel like walks through it. None of these sensations is a sign the aircraft is in trouble. It is a sign your threat system has fired.

Why avoiding flying makes the fear bigger

Avoiding flights feels like the sensible answer, and it is the thing that keeps the fear alive. Mind calls the things we do to feel safe around a phobia trigger safety behaviours: avoiding it completely, only facing it with someone else there, or putting a lot of effort into getting round it. They feel helpful. Mind is clear that they often do not help us deal with the symptoms, and that they can make the phobia worse. The NHS gives the same advice in its anxiety guidance: do not avoid situations that make you anxious, and build up to them gradually instead.

Every flight you skip teaches your brain that you survived because you did not fly. Every flight you white-knuckle through with a drink and your eyes shut teaches it that you survived because of the drink and the shut eyes. The plane never gets the credit, so the fear never gets corrected. The same pattern runs through driving anxiety, where the roads you avoid become the roads you cannot face.

Want a personal response?

Wobble connects you to a qualified UK therapist without the commitment of a full course of therapy. Describe what is going on and get a personal video back, usually within hours.

Create account

How can I stop being afraid to fly?

Most people stop being afraid to fly by facing it in small steps, not by waiting it out. Mind calls this building up tolerance, or graded exposure, and sets out how to do it yourself. The therapies most often offered for phobias, Mind says, are cognitive behavioural therapy and exposure therapy, which do the same thing with a professional alongside you. Neither asks you to board a long-haul flight tomorrow. Both ask you to stop letting the fear make every decision.

Build up to it in steps

Graded exposure means making a list of what triggers the fear and working through it from the smallest step up. Mind suggests listing what sets the fear off and how each part makes you feel, then listing small tasks that build into bigger ones. For flying, that might start with photographs of aircraft, then videos of take-off and landing, then an afternoon watching planes at an airport, then a short flight before a long one. While you do each task, notice what your body is doing, remind yourself that you are safe, and repeat the task until it stops making you anxious before moving to the next. Mind also says to be kind to yourself as you go and to reward yourself along the way. Some NHS trusts publish graded exposure workbooks you can download, and your GP can point you to one.

Challenge the thoughts underneath

Challenging the thoughts behind the fear works alongside the steps, not instead of them. Mind suggests asking yourself whether there is any evidence against the thought, whether you are picturing the most likely outcome or the worst one, whether there is another way to look at the situation, and what you would tell a friend who thought the same. Writing the answers down helps. The NHS suggests checking whether airlines run courses for people with phobias, and Mind notes that some airlines do run fear of flying courses. They can be expensive and are not available on the NHS, so talk to your GP if you are unsure whether one would help you.

Where Wobble fits

Wobble is the step before a course of therapy, or the check-in alongside one. You describe what is going on in text or voice and a qualified UK therapist records you a personal video, usually within hours, working to the Wobble response framework: what they understood, practical guidance, and one clear next step. Wobble's Clinical Lead is James Penney, NCPS Accredited Psychotherapeutic Counsellor. People use it once in the run-up to a flight, or regularly while they work through the steps above, the way therapy has a rhythm without the appointment. It is not a replacement for a course of therapy if that is what you need, and it is not a crisis service.

What helps on the day of the flight

On the day, slow breathing, a plan for panic and one person who knows carry you a long way.

Breathe on purpose. The NHS breathing exercise for stress, anxiety and panic works anywhere, including an aircraft seat. Breathe in gently through your nose, letting the breath go deep into your belly without forcing it, counting steadily from one to five if that helps, then let it out gently through your mouth, counting to five again. Keep going for at least five minutes. You may not reach five at first, and that is fine.

Have a plan for panic. The NHS advice during a panic attack is to stay where you are, breathe slowly and deeply, remind yourself that it will pass, focus on calm images, and remember that it is not life threatening. Our guide to how to stop a panic attack goes through this in more detail.

Tell someone. The NHS lists talking to someone you trust among its self-help steps for phobias. Tell the person you are travelling with what tends to happen and what helps.

Look after the night before. The NHS suggests avoiding energy drinks and caffeinated drinks after 3pm, because they can affect your sleep and make anxiety worse, and it advises against using alcohol to ease anxiety. Its phobias self-help also warns that searching online for images can be triggering before you are ready, which includes the late-night scroll through turbulence videos.

When to see your GP

See your GP if being scared of flying is affecting your life, not only if you have a flight booked. The NHS advice is to see a GP if you think you have a phobia and it is affecting your life. Mind suggests support might help if avoiding the trigger makes day-to-day life hard, if you need a lot of preparation or someone with you to face it, if it causes panic attacks or stops you doing things you enjoy, or if you are using alcohol or drugs to cope. You do not need to be sure it is a phobia before you go. A GP can assess you and explain your options, which Mind says are usually the same as for other anxiety problems: guided self-help, talking therapies and, in some cases, medication. A GP is the right person to discuss medication with, and Mind notes it should not be the only thing offered because it does not treat the cause.

In England you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies at nhs.uk/talk without going through your GP, and phobias are on its list of problems you can self-refer for. Waits vary widely. Elsewhere in the UK your GP can tell you what talking support is available locally. A BACP, UKCP, BABCP, BPS or NCS-registered therapist can help privately. If you ever feel you cannot keep yourself safe, that is urgent: call 999 or go to A&E, or call NHS 111 and select the mental health option.

Who you can talk to today

Free routes first, then your GP, then Wobble.

• NHS Talking Therapies (England): refer yourself at nhs.uk/talk without seeing your GP. Free. Waits vary widely.
• NHS 111, mental health option: call 111 and select the mental health option, or use 111 online, for urgent help that is not an emergency. Free.
• Samaritans: call 116 123, free from any phone, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
• Shout: text 85258, free, confidential, 24/7.
• Mind Infoline: 0300 123 3393 for information about support and services near you.
• Your GP: if the fear is affecting your life, or you want to talk through treatment options.

Wobble is on-demand mental health support: you answer seven short questions about what is going on, add more in writing or by voice note if you want, and a qualified UK therapist records you a personal video with practical guidance, usually within hours. Use it once, or make it a regular check-in. Your first Wobble is £9.99, usually £14.99. It is not a crisis service.

Try Wobble for £9.99

On-demand mental health support from qualified UK therapists. Describe what is going on, get a personal video back usually within hours. Free to sign up.

Sign up for free

Quick summary

Being scared of flying is a fear response out of step with the real risk, and it is common. It often starts with a frightening flight, a stressful period or a fear learned from someone close, and sometimes with nothing you can point to. Avoiding flights keeps the fear alive, because the plane never gets the credit for you being fine. What helps is building up in small steps, challenging the thoughts underneath, slow breathing and a written plan for panic on the day, and your GP or NHS Talking Therapies if it is affecting your life. You do not have to sort this alone.

Sources and further reading

• NHS: Phobias, overview
• NHS: Phobias, symptoms
• NHS: Phobias, causes
• NHS: Phobias, self-help
• NHS: Phobias, treatment
• NHS: Panic disorder
• NHS: Anxiety, fear and panic
• NHS: Breathing exercises for stress
• NHS: NHS Talking Therapies
• NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
• Mind: Understanding phobias
• Mind: Coping with phobias
• Anxiety UK: Fear of flying
• Samaritans: Contact a Samaritan
• Shout: text 85258

This article is for information only and does not replace advice from a qualified medical professional. If fear of flying or anxiety is affecting your daily life, please speak to your GP or contact NHS 111. If you are in crisis, please call 999 or go to A&E.